Getting older is not all it is cracked up to be

I spent my entire childhood wanting to be older.  Old enough to make my own rules, have my own money, do what I wanted.  Well, I'm there and it kind of sucks.  The days and the weeks seem to drag on only to find that it's almost September of my 41st year and I can't go back.  Every passing day, brings a new gray hair, wrinkle or pound.  Another day at work, another bill to pay and one less moment that I'll never get back.  The older you get, everyone you care about gets older too.  Loved ones move into the last and final phases of their lives.  The 18-year-old boy I fell in love with has become a middle-aged man.  The baby that seems like she was just born is almost 12 years old. 

This week brought the transition to middle school for Em.  She has adjusted very well and loves it five days in.  This Mom, on the other hand, just wishes she could go back and cherish every single second when she was hurrying around and feeling overwhelmed.   I'd give anything to have that little baby snuggled up on my chest.  I'm not the most affectionate person...I have issues.  I know it.  But occasionally, Emily, if you could give your old Mom a hug, she'd appreciate it.  In fact, I need it.  You're slipping away from us on your path to independence.  I get it.  It seems like a long time ago but I was once your age.  I remember wanting to grow up.  Try to keep in mind that Daddy and I love watching you become the young lady you are growing to be but it's hard for us.  I know I can be a nag.  I promise it comes from a place of love.  I know Daddy is aggravating ALL OF THE TIME!  I know this better than anyone else ;).  Let him walk you to the bus stop a little longer, not for you but for him.  Let me stroke your hair out of your face without flinching because it reminds me of my newborn with a ton of hair.  Let us be your friends (to a point), know you can always trust us and learn to appreciate the fact that we are a little crazy.  Cut us some slack when we're being difficult, bust our chops when we need it but always just allow us to be your parents, your biggest advocates and most enthusiastic cheerleaders.  We'd like some of the same to be reciprocated.  But again, I get it.  I remember being almost 12 and having a tendency to be self-focused.  I'm old but not that old!